


Honesty

by nanuk_dain



Series: Impossible Relationships [15]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:40:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An evening with beer, pizza and action movies leads to some truths being revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honesty

  


[  
](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/000be3gq)

  


“That was good.” Ray sighed, deeply satisfied, and rubbed his stomach while he pushed the empty pizza box aside. “Beer, pizza and movies – that's what I call a good evening.”

Next to him on the couch, Tim chuckled. “You're easy to satisfy, then.”

Ray shrugged and grinned while he reached for his beer. “I'm a simple man.”

Tim snorted and gave him a sceptical look over his last piece of pizza. “You're far from simple, Josh.”

Ray just grinned before he took a sip of his beer, enjoying the easy banter. It wasn't that late, yet he felt as comfortably tired and relaxed as he usually only did when it was _really_ late and he'd drunk quite a lot. It was only his second beer, though, so he was far from drunk – he wasn't even anywhere close to tipsy – and he had no other explanation for his current state but that it was just remarkably easy to let down his guard around Tim. He just had a way of putting Ray at ease that Ray had never experienced with anybody else, and he found that he rather liked it. 

Like this morning in the kitchen, when Tim had nonchalantly offered Ray a glass of orange juice for breakfast only minutes after he'd given Ray the most fantastic, overwhelming blow job Ray had ever had. It had been the very first time Ray had been _that_ intimate with another guy and Tim must have known it, yet he hadn't paid it any special attention which would have made Ray feel awkward. No fuss, no big deal. He'd just kissed Ray, long and slow and almost lazy, and Ray had tasted himself on Tim's tongue. Then they'd taken a shower together, washing quickly before they'd devoured the bagels and the muffins Ray had bought for breakfast.

The day had been rather lazy. They'd left to buy some groceries to fill up the kitchen, then they'd spent the rest of the day on the beach, swimming and soaking up the early summer sun and drinking iced tea and eating ice cream. Doing what had only been a faraway dream at Mathilda or in Iraq. On the way back to Tim's apartment, they'd grabbed a sixpack and two pizzas and a few movies. Ray couldn't think of a better way to spend his first day of leave.

And while the day had been easy and relaxed, they had kept a reasonable distance. They were in Oceanside, after all, a town that was rife with military personnel, and that didn't allow any slip-ups. Tim had been his usual silent, frowning self, but Ray had been surprised how easy it had been for him to read Tim's every thought, notice his well-hidden amusement and his little smirks. When he'd been lying on the beach in the shadow of a palm tree, watching Tim walk over to him with two paper cups of iced tea in his hands, Ray had wondered what the heck they were doing. He _knew_ that what they had wasn't a fling, but he was also very well aware of the risks they were taking, especially considering that they were in the town with probably the highest percentage of military personnel in the whole of the US. They had to be careful, very very careful. Ray had never been good at careful, but he was determined to give his best in this case. If it meant that he could keep Tim, it was worth the effort. 

Now that Ray was sitting on Tim's old but extremely comfortable couch with his stomach pleasantly full and a cold beer in his hand, exchanging playful banter with Tim, he knew it was _definitely_ worth it. Tim was sprawled on the couch only inches away, his calf touching Ray's where they'd both propped their feet up on the low table. He looked relaxed and at ease, the frown on his face replaced by a teasing smirk, and Ray couldn't help noticing how _sexy_ he was. Damn, but he could really pull off wearing that moustache. Not to mention that Ray liked it when it scratched over his skin when Tim kissed him.

Ray didn't really care how gay it was to notice stuff like that. He'd long since stopped caring. He just knew that Tim looking this relaxed and content made Ray's insides clench with something he tried not to think about. It made him want to touch him, kiss him, maybe even do other stuff. Well, not maybe, _definitely_. And although Ray was new to this whole gay thing, he was sure Tim had done it before. What he'd done this morning, how incredibly well he'd done it, spoke of a certain level of experience. You didn't deep throat without gagging if you didn't know what you were doing. You didn't swallow if you didn't know what to expect, and although Ray had _seen_ it, he still couldn't quite believe that Tim had actually done it. He didn't doubt for a moment that Tim would never do something like that if he didn't want to, and the thought made a shiver run down his spine. A pleasant shiver that made other regions of his body pay attention. He remembered his dreams, the really intense ones from the POG camp, and he couldn't help wondering if maybe he could try out some of them with Tim. It was worth testing the water, he decided.

“Soooo.” Ray drew out the word, leaning his head on the back of the couch, face turned towards Tim. “You're not new to this, are you?”

Tim held his gaze effortlessly and raised an eyebrow in surprise at the unexpected question. For a moment, Ray wasn't sure if he was actually going to get answer. “If by 'this' you mean sexual encounters with men, then no, I'm not new to 'this'.”

"So you're gay?"

"No, I like women just as well as men.” Tim shrugged. “It's called 'bisexual', Josh. The grey zone in a world that likes to see things in black and white."

“I still don't share.” The words had left Ray's mouth before he'd given them any thought, but once he'd said them, he found them to be nothing but the truth. “Not with other guys and not with chicks, either.” 

Tim had the nerve to chuckle. Ray thought he looked pleased. “Don't worry, Josh, there's no risk of that happening.”

"Good. Otherwise I'd have to mark my territory and that would be kind of... well, _obvious_." Ray grinned at Tim and looked pointedly at the spot where he'd bitten Tim. 

"Yeah, I've noticed that." Tim gave him a stern look, but his lips were twitching in a halfway suppressed smirk and that ruined the effect. 

"You've ever been... you know, on the receiving end?" Ray turned his whole body towards Tim, curious about his answer.

Tim hesitated, barely, but Ray still noticed it. "Yes."

“How is it?” Ray leaned forwards, arms resting on his knees.

“It can be awesome when done right. Leave you speechless.” Now Tim had a teasing smirk on his lips, and all hesitancy was gone. “What, you want to try it?”

“Actually, I've thought about it.” Ray shrugged, trying to appear relaxed. He had done so many gay things during the time he'd been with Tim, so why not go all the way? If his dreams were anywhere near the real thing, he wouldn't regret it. He grinned and focussed Tim with a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Thought about it ever since I had you under my fingers in Qalat Sukhar.”

Tim's eyes darkened and he swallowed visibly. “You're kidding me.”

“Nope.” Ray shook his head. “Even dreamt about it.”

Tim licked his bottom lip but didn't say a thing. Ray leaned forwards a little further and stretched until he was close enough to kiss Tim. He stopped with his lips almost touching Tim's, when he felt the warmth of Tim's breath on his skin. "I was wondering if you were willing to help me realise some of those dreams."

Tim looked at him, eyes dark with desire, but he didn't move to touch Ray. When he answered, his voice had dropped an octave and held the rough sound Ray loved to hear. "What did you have in mind?"

Ray thought about it for a seconds, then he decided to push things a little. He rose just enough to stretch his right leg over Tim's, then he shifted until he was straddling Tim's thighs. 

“Let's give it a try.” Ray said with a challenging smirk and pressed his butt against Tim's groin to make his point unmistakably clear.

Tim swallowed hard and his eyes drifted closed for a second before he looked up again and his heated gaze found Ray's. “You sure?”

Ray just raised an eyebrow and gave him a chiding look. “Have I ever suggested something I wasn't ready to do?”

Tim shook his head after a moment. His hands had settled on Ray's thighs in a firm grip he didn't seem to be aware of. Ray moved his hips, rubbing against the hard prove of Tim's arousal that he could feel through the fabric of their jeans. Tim gave a low gasp and his hands tightened on Ray's thighs. "Josh..."

Ray smirked and ground down, making Tim groan. "Don't tell me you don't want to."

Tim gave a chocked laugh. "Of course I want to."

"Good." Ray settled his hands on Tim's neck, then he leaned down and licked over Tim's bottom lip in a teasingly light touch before he plunged in, sliding his tongue deep inside Tim's mouth. Tim reacted immediately, his hands sliding along Ray's thighs and his sides to his back, pulling him in until their chests were touching. He returned the kiss with equal passion, and when Ray let his fingers bury in his hair, Tim let out a low groan that was mostly lost in Ray's mouth. Ray clenched his hands into fists, pulled lightly, and Tim shivered underneath him in reaction to it, another dark sound of pleasure coming from deep within his throat. Ray had long since noticed how much Tim seemed to like Ray's fingers in his hair, holding on, pulling, carding through the short strands, and Ray found he couldn't keep his hands away. He loved it when Tim leaned into his touch, melted into it with little noises he'd normally never make. It was just incredibly _hot_ to see Tim like that, to feel him let go of his impassive mask and his tight control.

Tim's hands tugged on Ray's tank top, pushed it up and pulled it over his head as soon as Ray had let go of Tim's lips. Tim got rid of his own t-shirt right afterwards, throwing it in the general direction of the floor. His hands were on Ray's skin immediately, touching, caressing, teasing, and Ray couldn't help groaning in pleasure when Tim's mouth closed over his left nipple, alternately licking, sucking and biting the sensitive nub, the coarse hair of his moustache teasing the skin. 

Ray's eyes were closed, his head was bowed and his mouth was open with his breath coming in pants. It felt so good to be in the centre of Tim's attention, to be under his very skilled hands and his incredible mouth, and Ray wondered what it was going to be like to have Tim _inside_ him. He was a little nervous – of course he was, it wasn't like he had ever let a guy do that before – but he didn't doubt for a moment that Tim would make it good, no, would make it _fantastic_. Ray was more curious than nervous, and maybe he was _a little_ impatient, so he let his hands work on Tim's belt and fly to get things to the next base.

Tim chuckled against the skin of Ray's chest when Ray pulled the belt free. "Impatient, are we?"

"Hell yeah." Ray growled and tried to concentrate on the zipper. Tim just chuckled again and helped Ray along by opening Ray's pants as far as possible given their position. Ray quickly got frustrated, he wanted less clothes between them, wanted more bare skin and more contact. So he got up from where he'd been straddling Tim's lap and unceremoniously got rid of his pants and his boxers, leaving them where they landed halfway on the table and halfway on the floor. Tim seemed to follow his train of thoughts and raised his hips off the couch to shove down his own pants and shorts, never hesitating a second. Ray was back straddling Tim as soon as he'd removed the offending clothes, kissing him thoroughly, indulging in the sudden contact of warm skin on warm skin, the touch of Tim's hands on his bare hips and the unfamiliar feeling of Tim's erection against the inside of his thighs. Ray wriggled a bit, experimentally, and when Tim's hardness nudged behind his balls an unexpected jolt of pleasure shot up Ray's spine. It made him gasp in surprise, his eyes wide and staring at Tim.

There was an amused smirk on Tim's face, but his eyes were dark and burning. "That'll be your prostate." 

Ray wanted to say something witty, but all he managed was a very inarticulate 'ugh' when Tim shifted his hips and pressed the head of his erection behind Ray's balls again. 

Tim leaned forwards until Ray could feel his breath hot and wet against his ear. "It gets even better."

Ray moved his hips again so that Tim's erection rubbed against him with maddening friction. Tim met his movements with little thrusts, intensifying the feeling, and Ray bit down on Tim's shoulder with a growl. "More..."

“Bed.” Tim managed to groan against Ray's skin.

“Too far.” Ray felt the ability to form sentences leave him, but he couldn't have cared less.

Tim shook his head against Ray's neck. “We're going to do this properly, and that means in bed. Aside from that, my supplies are in the bedside drawer.”

"Then carry me." Ray demanded, hoping it would make Tim change his mind. The couch would work just as well as the bed, and it meant that they didn't have to move.

"All right." Tim just replied and settled his hands on Ray's butt. "Hold on."

Before Ray had the time to admit that he hadn't meant it, he felt Tim lean backwards to gain some momentum, then he heaved himself to his feet with Ray in his arms, the hands on his butt supporting his weight. Ray grabbed Tim's shoulders in surprise in order to hold on and wrapped his legs around Tim's waist. Tim didn't wait, he just tightened his arms around Ray and began walking towards the bedroom. 

Ray chuckled and kissed Tim's ear. "You're unbelievable."

Tim grinned and looked up. "I know."

Ray couldn't help it, he just had to bent down and kiss him. Tim stopped walking and closed his eyes, his hands slowly caressing Ray's butt while he returned the kiss eagerly. He took one step backwards, two, three, and his arm collided with the doorframe of the bedroom, but Tim didn't seem to notice. He continued, blindly as Ray suspected, until the back of his knees connected with the bed. He sank down slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed with Ray straddling him again, and his hands began to wander all over Ray's body. Ray began to shift his hips until he felt the pressure of Tim's erection rub behind his balls again. It was a new feeling for him, not something he'd ever experienced with any of his multiple female sex-partners, but it was a great feeling that he could easily get addicted to. Even more so when Tim's hand was wrapped around Ray's almost painfully hard erection, jerking him in sync with the thrusts of Tim's hips. 

"You should lie down on your stomach." Tim pressed out when he broke the kiss, his breath warm against Ray's lips. "That'll be easiest for you."

"No." Ray shook his head. He already knew how he wanted to do this, and since it was _his_ first time, he figured he had the right to decide. He pressed his hips down before he thrust up in Tim's hand, then he licked over Tim's bottom lip. "I want to ride you."

"Oh my... _Josh_!" Tim gasped, as if he was unable to hold back the sound. He shivered, his left hand tightening its grip on Ray's hip, and his next words sounded forced. "That's... not the best position for the first time, Josh."

"Don't care." Ray was more focussed on the firm circle of Tim's hand and the teasing pressure of the hardness nudging his balls than on Tim's words. He knew what he wanted, and he didn't doubt Tim would make it good. "I trust you."

Tim took a sharp breath, then he pressed his nose against Ray's collarbone, in the little hollow where neck meets shoulder. "All right."

His left hand let go of Ray's hip and he stretched, pulling open the middle drawer of the bedside table. Ray didn't pay it too much attention, the friction on his erection was just too distracting. He heard the sound of a cap popping open, and a few moments later there was a finger stroking down his cleft and over his opening. It was accompanied by a lukewarm wet feeling that Ray knew was lube, and for a moment, just a _tiny_ moment, he felt a surge of panic, wondering if he really wanted what he had initiated. But before he could get lost in panic Tim was kissing him again, his right hand working on Ray's hardness with a teasing rhythm that made Ray momentarily forget the finger trailing his hole.

Tim took his time and Ray got distracted by his other ministrations so that he was almost surprised by the feeling of a finger slipping inside him, not far, just to the first knuckle. 

"Feels strange." Ray murmured, not sure if he liked the sensation or not. 

"It always does at the beginning." Tim replied, voice low and kind of soothing, and he pressed a kiss to Ray's shoulder. "This is necessary to make it good."

Ray just nodded, focussed on the unfamiliar feeling of something penetrating him. It wasn't painful, just... _strange_. Tim pulled his finger back just to push in again, spreading more lube. He moved slowly, carefully, but Ray felt it immediately when he added a second finger. He felt stretched, almost too much, and Ray screwed his eyes shut and and bit his bottom lip at the slight burn. If two fingers already felt this huge, how the heck was _Tim_ going to fit?

"Breathe, Josh." Tim's low voice murmured right next to his ear before he pressed a soft kiss on Ray's temple. "Try to relax. It gets better."

Ray nodded and forced himself to relax his muscles and let go of the pain just like he'd been trained to do as a Marine. It worked, but it still felt uncomfortable to have two of Tim's fingers inside him, probing as if they were looking for something. Suddenly Ray gasped and screwed his eyes shut, his mouth opening in a pleasure so intense that it took him completely by surprise. "Holy shit!"

Tim chuckled right next to his ear before he bit the lobe. “I take it you like that?”

“Again!” Ray wanted to say more, wanted to tell Tim how amazing that had felt, how it was more intense than anything he'd ever experienced and that he'd personally kill Tim if he stopped now. But words had left him entirely now, flying around mingled and useless in his pleasure shaken brain. He didn't bother trying to speak again once Tim hit that spot a second time and made the overwhelming pleasure come back. Tim had understood, had probably known all along, and Ray allowed the words to become mindless groans and noises he would never admit making.

Ray sank down on Tim's fingers every time they pulled back, and although he felt a vague burning at the third finger, it didn't really register once Tim hit his prostate. Ray was reduced to greedily pursue his own pleasure, seeking friction by thrusting in Tim's hand and then pushing down on his fingers. He couldn't have said how much time had passed when Tim's fingers slid out of him, leaving him unpleasantly _empty_. He felt Tim's other hand leave his erection, heard the wrapper of a condom being ripped open and then he felt the blunt head of Tim's erection nudging his hole.

"Ready?" Tim asked, his voice thick with arousal. Ray couldn't speak, so he just nodded resolutely. Tim watched him with an intense gaze when his hands settled on Ray's hips and gently motioned for him to sink down. "Go slow, Josh."

Ray nodded again, noting the difference in size, and he suddenly understood why Tim had insisted on the thorough preparation. He never looked away, taking in every emotion on Tim's face, every twitch of pleasure, every change in breath. Tim's hips never moved, leaving it entirely to Ray to decide how quick he wanted to go. Ray could imagine the effort it took Tim not to thrust, and he appreciated it, taking the time he needed to adjust. He felt all tension leave his body when Tim was completely buried inside him and Ray sagged down, his head coming to rest on Tim's shoulder, his breathing coming in pants. Tim's arms had wrapped around him, holding him, supporting him, and Ray allowed himself to take a minute to enjoy the feeling of Tim pulsing inside him. It was like nothing he had ever experienced and it left him breathless. 

Tim's nose touched Ray's neck, stroked along his jaw and his cheek until his lips found Ray's in a probing kiss, light and easy, a wordless question. Ray returned it, deepened it while rising up until Tim almost slipped out of him. Then he sank back down, slowly at first, but faster already the second time. He changed the angle, felt Tim thrust up to meet him halfway, and that did it for him. Ray made fists in Tim's hair, gripping tight and holding on, and Tim groaned under him, a shudder going through his entire body. Ray rose and slammed down again, his entire world narrowing down to the incredible pleasure it brought to feel Tim hit his prostate. There was nothing outside the maddening rhythm and Ray moved faster and faster, sank down harder and harder, gripped Tim's hair stronger and stronger. Tim's hoarse groans were the only thing he could hear next to his own loud breath, and his whole mind was filled with the need to come.

It happened suddenly, Tim thrusting up when Ray pushed down, and his mind blanked out, his whole body shuddering violently when his orgasm ripped through him. He felt Tim thrust once more, twice, then he groaned loudly and passed over the edge. Ray could feel it, the heat that filled him, and for a split second he wondered what it would be like to feel Tim without the barrier of the condom. The thought left his mind as quickly as it had come, succumbing to the pleasant numbness of aftermath. 

Tim's arms were wrapped around him, their grip loose, and Ray leaned heavily against Tim to keep from falling over. All energy had left his body and he felt boneless and spent in the best way possible. It would have been fine with him if he never had to get up again, just stay like this forever, wrapped in Tim's arms while regaining his breath. Ray didn't bother to move for a long time and neither did Tim, too comfortable and too exhausted to even try. Ray had closed his eyes, his cheek resting on Tim's shoulder and he was close to sleep when a thought crossed his mind.

"Tim?" Ray murmured without opening his eyes.

"Hmm?"

“Would you do this the other way round?”

Tim was quiet for so long that Ray wondered if he'd asked something he shouldn't have. When Tim replied after a minute or two, his voice was low but firm. “With you, yes, I would.” 

The words made a shiver run through Ray's entire body, leaving goosebumps in its wake. His arms tightened around Tim and he pressed a kiss to Tim's shoulder, feeling that no words could ever express the intense mixture of surprise, affection and pleased warmth that washed over him. "Thank you."

Tim's hand came up to card through Ray's hair at the nape of his neck followed by the soft press of lips on Ray's forehead. "Always, Josh."


End file.
